I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
- Jean Kerr

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

The proper basis for a marriage is mutual misunderstanding.
- Oscar Wilde

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- Henny Youngman

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
- Bill Cosby

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
- James Holt McGavran

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
- George Lichtenberg

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Weddings are never about the bride and groom, weddings are public platforms for dysfunctional families.
- Lisa Kleypas

Falling in love is so hard on the knees.
- Aerosmith

The surest way to be alone is to get married.
- Gloria Steinem

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.
- Cher

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
- Helen Rowland

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- G. K. Chesterton

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out; you lose interest.
- Irwin Corey

Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Marx Groucho

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
- George Bernard Shaw