If it weren't for marriages, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

Let the arguing commence!

A married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Whoever said that marriage is easy must have died during their honeymoon. Wishing you a long and challenging marriage.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

All weddings are happy. It's living together afterward that's difficult.

Marriage is all about give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it away.

Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss.

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you'll fall forever.

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in life, except for good taste in men.

There are three rings of marriage: the Engagement Ring, the Wedding Ring, and the SuffeRing.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Congratulations and good luck; you're going to need lots of it.

Congratulations on convincing [Bride's name] to settle on you.

Wishing that you two have at least half the love for each other in 10 years as you do today; it's all downhill from here.

Congratulations on tying the knot; hopefully you didn't tie it too tight.