Funny Wedding Card Quotes

Find the best wedding funny quotes for you to use to celebrate a wedding.
  • I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
    - Rita Rudner
  • Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
    - Jean Kerr
  • A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
    - Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • The proper basis for a marriage is mutual misunderstanding.
    - Oscar Wilde
  • Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
    - Henny Youngman
  • For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
    - Bill Cosby
  • There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
    - James Holt McGavran
  • Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
    - George Lichtenberg
  • Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he's not the man she married?
    - Barbra Streisand
  • Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
    - Erma Bombeck
  • Weddings are never about the bride and groom, weddings are public platforms for dysfunctional families.
    - Lisa Kleypas
  • Falling in love is so hard on the knees.
    - Aerosmith
  • The surest way to be alone is to get married.
    - Gloria Steinem
  • The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.
    - Cher
  • I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
    - Rita Rudner
  • A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
    - Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
    - Helen Rowland
  • Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
    - Benjamin Franklin
  • The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
    - Henny Youngman
  • Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
    - G. K. Chesterton
  • Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out; you lose interest.
    - Irwin Corey
  • Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
    - Marx Groucho
  • Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
    - George Bernard Shaw






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